Think easily at modern level of awareness in the main intimate questions sew lives to realize, what you are not capable to test orgasm? More precisely you are capable to test it, well know, that this such. But with the concrete man it leaves at you extremely seldom, and even does not leave at all. Because... Because therefore... It'self I do not know why...
I try to understand it and I come to unfavourable conclusions. About own imperfection. About absence between us of love and full confidence, about it's potential possibilities, desires and abilities. About my whimsical cycle both wavy excitation. And trifles which in the most peak condition are capable to cross out all it's diligence at once suddenly. The word any, not having thought, will tell also everything, I have already gone out, as a candle from careless breath.
From what I am got? Who would know. Yesterday I to it have in detail described all. And today, when it all is diligent it has repeated, it became ridiculous and opposite to me and at all has not excited, and even on the contrary. I am capricious? Yes, so he also has thought. But I can do nothing with it. It as if exists besides my desire. It so is thin. So it is deceptive and changeably and does not give in to any rules, that to me happens annoyingly and it is insulting, that I torment the person. How much in vain. And then...
I start to represent orgasm. How I do it? Yes there is nothing easier. Each woman knows, how it can be represented. The actress! And here spectators applaud... Applaud... Have terminated to applaud... Also the life alone with the present sensations which you as are diligent as now played begins, hide in the most undercover corners of the subconsciousness. You persuade yourself, that time on time is not necessary. That you have got tired today. That all at you necessarily will turn out. That he so tried, it is necessary to remunerate it grateful starts....